Side Notes of Growing Up

I promise after this post I’ll start posting more tips, & style & beauty related things, but for now I want to do another book review. I got this book probably 3 years ago, and as I began packing up my room I found it. I opened it up and turned the pages, as I flipped through I found pages that even two years ago I folded the page, and highlighted certain things. It was crazy to me many of the things I highlighted, and the pages I folded truly still applied to the way I was feeling today. Side Notes is written by Benjamin Hinamanu, a guy from Michigan, I found via social media a few years ago. I saw him promoting his book & decided to give it a read, I am so glad I did. The chapters are all less than a page, many less than a paragraph even, & still have the ability to make you “damn.” Side Notes is short, sweet, and so real. He truly dials in on all the things we go through as our teen years turn into adulthood.

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Probably my favorite chapter in the whole book. People who truly care about you, are hard to find, & when you do find them… hold onto them. Tightly. Recently, more than ever I have found myself surrounded by people who really, no matter what, love me & want the best for me. I’ve realized too, how shitty I have been to some people, & how they still no matter what remain the same supportive, loyal, loving people as they were before. Friends who disappeared into the oblivion for a while (bc of you) but still say “Yeah, I’ve been reading your blog to kinda keep up, & check on you. I’m proud of you, keep growing.” Or the friends who are there to listen when you’re crying over the same thing for the 100th time. The friends who when you say “please pray for me,” respond with “oh, I have been.” Those friends that “find ways to find your happiness when it’s misplaced somewhere in life.”

Processed with VSCO with a5 preset“Actions speak louder than words.” A person can tell you anything you want to hear.. but do their actions match that? In fact, you too, can say anything you want… but do YOUR actions match that? Do you hold up your end of the bargain? Do you do your part in the project? Are you always there like you promised?

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Today maintaining a relationship is just about as hard as it can get. Phones, social media, dating apps, you name it. I guarantee you walk up to any girl young girl on the street & simply ask her “do you think you have trust issues?” the answer is going to be yes. We tend to gravitate towards people we know are probably going to hurt us, or don’t have the best intentions with our feelings. Still we give them our all & then watch as it crumbles & burns the way we subconsciously expected it too. But then what happens when someone comes along who really does just want to love us…. we run. Far, and fast.

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I think everyone can relate to this chapter, whether it be school, relationships, or health. You have to be dedicated, you have to be driven, you need to care. Us young people think we can do the bare minimum & still get the top prize. How can we KNOW we have an exam, not study, & then be shocked by the 30% we receive? How can we KNOW our relationship is sinking, put no effort into fixing it, & still expect things to magically work out? How can we KNOW we’re sick, but not take our medicine & be surprised when we don’t get better? How can we be okay with settling?

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Being alone is scary. Being alone with the thoughts that you’ve pushed aside for a while is even more scary. Like he said being alone creates clarity, much needed clarity we all require in our early twenties. Being alone, is slightly terrifying. Having time alone to figure out what you truly love, what you truly want, and most importantly who you truly are is very terrifying! However once we can embrace the ambiance of being alone, we will be able to succeed in whatever we wish, because these clarifying moments have helped us to figure out who we are.

I highly suggest this book to everyone, especially though to those in high school or college. Those who are growing up and dealing with friendships, relationships, & the repercussions of real life. You’ll be able to connect to what Ben has to offer on a personal level.

  • love you guys always, tay!

Get Side Notes here: https://www.amazon.com/Side-Notes-Growing-Benjamin-Hinamanu/dp/1936243806

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