What a freaking year.. and I’m not meaning that as in: “OMG, what a great freaking year!!!” I’m saying it more like: “OMG, I am so happy you are coming to a close 2017 because you seriously beat. my. a$$.” For me, 2017 was a gigantic rollercoaster, that for some reason, had way more downs than ups. This year, I struggglllleeedd, a lot. My mental & physical health hit an all time low, my confidence, my motivation, my desire to do just about anything was almost nonexistent. From start to finish it felt like it was always something. It was as if I would take 3 steps forward & then 4 steps back. My eating disorders consumed me, my boyfriend & I broke up not once, but twice, I had financial problems, I had to get a new job I hated, following my dreams kept getting put on hold, I was in & out of the doctor & ER alllll the time. I was sad, angry, tired, & negative probably a good 60% of this year. That is not at all a joke. I just wasn’t myself at all this year. I tend to get into this mindset where I think poor me, why is all of this happening to me? Why can’t I just have it easy like so & so? Why can’t I catch a freaking break? I get stuck in the negatives & fail to recognize all of the positives that still surround me. Now don’t get me wrong, I give 2017, a good 4/10. I experienced things that hurt me, tested me, & almost ruined me. Looking back now, I realize they have also taught me. I have learned that my mindset can either be my weapon, or my enemy. I have learned that if someone wants to be with you, they will be with you, regardless of the circumstances. I have learned that life goes on every. single. day. no matter how sad I may be. I have also learned that my car payment is still due every single month whether I have a job or not. I have learned who are real friends, & who are not. I have learned that my family will always be on my side, even if I am wrong. I have learned more about who I really am, & what I really want. I have learned to never stop chasing my dreams regardless of the critics. Most importantly, I have learned that I do not like who I was these past 12 months, so maybe the blame isn’t on 2017, but rather myself, for how I handled it. I am so looking forward to bidding this year & this Taylor a goodbye. See ya never, you guys will not be missed!
Ohhh, 2018 I have such high hopes for you, & myself too.
“Cheers to a new year, and another chance for us to get it right.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Oprah.
I promise I’ll be back soon guys. Happy New Year!